Let's Agree to Never Eat Barton's Pancakes Again
by EpicKiya
Summary: The newly wedded Thundershield Husbands are now back from their honeymoon on Asgard, Baby Peggy is just a few weeks old, Tony's being Tony and Clint's hiding in the vents. Oh, and there's no more pancakes... wait... It's another crazy day for the Avengers!


**Let's Agree to Never Eat Barton's Pancakes Again**

 **Summary: The newly wedded Thundershield Husbands are now back from their honeymoon on Asgard, Baby Peggy is just a few weeks old, Tony's being mysterious again and Clint's hiding in the vents. Oh, and there's no more pancakes... wait... It's another crazy day for the Avengers!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the original characters of the Avengers, songs, or other merchandise mentioned. I do own Leia Fury (if you don't know who she is, you may refer back to the last chapter of "The Things Nick Banned Us to Do" and "Coffee and Enhanced Powered Humans DON'T Mix".) and Baby Peggy Thyra Rogers-Odinson (or something that means "Daughter of Thor"... *awkward face*) from the same story as Leia. Which is "Coffee and Enhanced..."**

 **Notes: Originally this story was a beginning to another I was working on. But I decided to turn it into a whole story.**

 **Warnings: There will be cussing, m/m shippings (such as Thundershield Husbands!, Science Boyfriends, WinterFalcon, QuickHawk), silliness, some sexual content, mention of mpreg, and some bit of violence and OOCness.**

 **ENJOY, MY PRETTIES! (I can hear Cap saying, "I understood that reference!")**

* * *

To be honest, who could really understand the Avengers' archer who goes by the name of Clint Francis Barton aka Hawkeye? They knew when he got angry at someone he aims to shoot them with a specialized arrow. He hated to admit it, but he had a soft spot for things all cute. If you placed a bunny in front of him, he would fall in love with it in seconds.

Clint had a habit of cuddling when he slept. Something else he didn't want to admit. Then there was his love for some things. Purple, archery (a definite duh), and blueberry pancakes.

Blueberry pancakes.

The thing that may end the Avengers.

* * *

Bright blue eyes opened up at the crackling of thunder from outside the window. The small body wiggled inside the crib and looked past the bed and bars to see two figures on the balcony. The glass doors opened, letting in the two males. Baby Peggy cooed as one of them pressed a finger to his smiling lips to tell her to be quiet.

He went over to the bed, smirking and climbing between the other two males on the bed. Sam moaned a little, turning over to turn his back towards Bucky, who turned on his back with a light snore. "... the potatoes are... in the suitcase...", he mumbled.

Baby Peggy gave a noise that said, "What did he just say?", tilting her head a bit.

The blonde in the bed chuckled and leaned forward towards the Falcon and Winter Soldier. "I hope my daughter didn't witness some late night fonduing between you two.", he whispered.

Sam and Bucky jolted upwards with identical shocked screams, jumping out the bed. The younger man had the blanket wrapped around him protectively while Bucky stood in a fighting stance, grabbing the gun he had hidden in his pajama pants. "Who... what...?!" His eyes met the laughing man on the bed. He frowned, straightening his stance. "What. The. Hell. Steve?"

Steve continued to laugh as he crawled out the bed. Thor had pushed himself off the wall and walked over to the crib, seeing that Peggy was awake. "Beloved thought it would be nice to wake you in such a matter."

"Oh he woke us up alright!", Sam growled, standing up and throwing the blanket back on the bed. Baby Peggy cooed as Thor lifted her into his large arms and started to make senseless hand motions. "Ba..."

"Hello, my dear light.", the thunder god greeted, kissing Peggy's whitish blond locks. Steve went over to the two and repeated Thor's actions. "Hey, sweetheart." Peggy tapped his nose in response as if she was saying, "Hello!"

The blond soldier turned to the other couple. "She wasn't too much trouble, was she?"

"Not at all. She was an angel.", Sam answered. He headed his way over to the bathroom to take a shower. Bucky smirked. "As nice it was seeing you two again, I have a certain Falcon to wash down.", he teased, rushing after the younger man. Steve blushed heavily as the door slammed and quickly grabbed Peggy and went out the room. Thor was left standing in the same spot, trying to progress what just happened in the past two minutes.

* * *

Some time had passed since Thor and Steve had arrived and settled in. The rest of the group had found out about the arrival, each walking into the kitchen on their own times to find Steve making pancakes and bacon. Sam had joined him at one point, and soon Bruce.

The only one that wasn't present was Clint.

"So how was the honeymoon?", Tony asked before sipping his coffee. He spotted the old soldier's blush and stiff position over the edge of his mug. "Um... it was great. I saw a lot of wonderful places."

"Was Thor's bedroom one of them?", Pietro teased. He didn't expect an orange to come flying at him and knocking him on the head. He turned to snap at Steve, but quickly shut his mouth when he realized who did it. The culprit wasn't Steve, shockingly, it was actually Bruce. "None of that in the kitchen, Pietro.", the doctor warned in his usually calm voice. Pietro shook his head in understanding, not wanting Bruce to... do something drastic. Honestly, Bruce being Bruce was really scary. He had that aura that spoke unexpected moments of angers and death. And that was without the Hulk.

"Anyways...", Natasha droned out. Beside her, Wanda was levitating a cup of orange juice with her magic. Baby Peggy was watching her from her seat on the table with interest. She then gave a small coo and started making grabby hands for the floating cup. The female Maximoff glanced at the baby and smiled. "You like this?"

"Ah.", came the babyish reply. Steve chuckled at the two. "I think she does like it.", he said as Peggy gave a small smile. It was noticeable, but small since she was only three weeks old. She drooled a little when Wanda reached forward with a mini Thor plushy to hand her. Peggy grabbed it and held it close, making soft noises. "Yes, it is yours, Peggy.", Wanda said as Bruce placed a plate of pancakes in front of her. Peggy's icy orbs spotted the plates and began to cry. Steve was quickly at her side with a bottle ready. She had stopped wailing when her 'mother' picked her up and began to feed her. Thor had walked up to behind Steve when he sat down and lightly held Peggy's tiny hand. "Had an appetite, didn't you, my little thunder?"

Peggy just blinked at him.

It was kind of awkward.

Steve chuckled. "I think she just wants to drink her bottle. Not in the mood to talk now.", he clarified. Peggy made a small coo from behind the nipple of the bottle as if she was agreeing to Steve's statement. Tony had raised an eyebrow at that. "I beginning to think that she actually understands us."

"I thought... wait. I thought babies did understand us when we talk to them.", Pietro admitted. "Well, truthfully, they don't at a newborn age, but as time passes they get use to what people say to them. Hence, how they find their favorites, liking to shows, all that.", Bruce said. "Something I read when Steve was still carrying Baby Peggy." He took a bite of his pancakes before looking over to see Peggy staring at him. He blinked at her, wondering what the hell had her staring at him like that. "Steve?" Said blonde looked down to see Peggy looking at Bruce. The soldier shrugged at his daughter's actions. "I guess she's understanding quickly.", he said, taking the now finished bottle out the baby girl's mouth. He sat her up on his shoulder properly to burp her. It came out like a soft squeak.

Bucky and Sam cooed at their goddaughter. "How cute.", the darker of the two sighed as Steve sat Peggy back in her seat and let her clench her tiny fingers around his larger one. "Adorable, isn't she? And to think she came out of me three weeks ago."

"Thanks to certain someone.", Bucky said, nudging his head in Tony's direction. The genius scoffed in disbelief and crossed his arms. "I gave them coffee, but it was the Twins who freaked Steve out into labor!", he protested. Bruce shoved a pancake in his mouth. "Shut up, Tony, and eat your food."

* * *

It was around two in the afternoon when Clint had finally emerged from the room. He had a quick shower and dressed into dark blue jeans and a graphic arrow tee. He made his way to the kitchen and smelled the faint aroma of pancakes in the air. It brought a smile to his face, figuring that either Nat, Steve or Bruce left some pancakes in the microwave for him.

The archer quickly made himself a cup of coffee, taking a sip from it while he went to the microwave.

And that how it started.

Clint opened the microwave, gasping when he saw that there were no pancakes in there for him. He didn't immediately freak out and figured that the pancakes may be in the stove. Much to his displeasure, they weren't there either. "Okay...", he muttered to himself.

He checked all about the kitchen for the food he craved for. Inside the cabinets, pantry, even in the dishwasher! He remembered that Steve had a habit of mistaking the dishwasher for the stove or microwave sometimes. He had washed a Hot Pocket once and that left everyone in giggles for nearly a month.

How did he mistake the dishwasher for the microwave was still a mystery.

The archer sighed, setting his coffee down on the counter top. "Alright. Clint, don't freak out. I'm sure that they may be had gotten breakfast out or something."

Tell that to the blueberry pancake aroma within the kitchen, Clinton Francis Barton.

Clint had exhaled sharply, walking out the kitchen to find the others. He found them all gathered in the large den, each doing something. Sam and Bucky were cuddled up, the younger in the older's lap while they watched Steve and Thor make noises and faces at their daughter. Baby Peggy was giggling at them while wiggling about in her seat.

Wanda and Pietro was playing a game on one of Tony's many gaming systems while Natasha and Vision watched. Bruce and Tony were sitting on the love seat, looking over something on Tony's StarkPad. Each was engaged in what they were doing that they didn't notice Clint's appearance until he cleared his throat. They looked up, one or two of them noticing his uneasy, bland demeanor.

"Hi, Clint! Wondering when you were going to wake up.", Tony sassed. Clint gave a dry laugh, bouncing on his feet a bit. "Yeah. I guess I was more tired than I thought. So how did everyone's morning go?", he asked while adding a 'welcome back' to Steve and Thor.

"It went okay. Had some blueberry pancakes and bacon this morning. Oh! Steve saved some for you in the microwave.", Wanda said, setting her game controller down. Clint blinked before his eyes darkened. "Oh? That's actually pretty funny because I looked everywhere in the kitchen, including the dishwasher, and found there were no pancakes waiting for me.", he retorted dryly, a hint of anger rising in his tone. Natasha had noticed and stood up. "Sorry about that, Clint. Maybe we could-"

"Nope."

Everyone just stared at the archer. They took note of how... uneasy he looked with a pissed off expression. "Nope?", Bruce questioned.

Clint frowned. "Nope. I know Steve had saved pancakes for me. He knows that I love pancakes. So I got to know... who in the fuck ate my pancakes?!"

Everyone had fell silent, which just pissed Clint off more. "Don't all speak at once now. I can't hear over all the chatter!", he sassed, stepping forward which made everyone, even Natasha, step back. "Clint, calm down. And stop cussing in front of Peggy. I don't think Steve and Thor would appreciate their daughter's first word being a curse word.", Sam said. Clint just huffed. "I just want to know who ate them. If I don't get an answer in the next minute, I'll make you all regret it."

"Clint, I don't think anyone would-"

"Don't give me that, Stark! I want my pancakes! And whoever ate them, I'm going to kick them out of their intestines!"

"Ew.", Wanda mumbled while Bruce made a face at that. Pietro sighed and walked over to the fuming man. "Little archer, there just pancakes. We could just make you some more. Or go out to a restaurant for them.", he suggested, kissing Clint's forehead while hoping it calmed him down. Unfortunately, it didn't.

"That's sweet, Pietro. But," Pietro had let out a squeal when Clint pulled him by the collar, forcing him to come inches to his own face. "I don't play about my food."

He let the speedster go before leaving with that threat hanging.

* * *

For the next hour, the group was weary of Clint. When he walked into the room again, he had this look of death on his face. At the moment, he sat in pure agonizing silence in the corner of the room. His arms and legs were crossed and his posture was stiff and sharp, cutting the awkwardness in the room very, very slowly.

Natasha seem to be not bothered by her best friend's behavior, ignoring him with her attention to the movie. Bruce didn't seem to notice since he was engrossed within his book while his philanthropist boyfriend moved from the uneasiness of Clint's glare.

Steve was frowning at the situation while Thor giggled and cooed at their daughter. As a matter of fact, the super soldier was greatly agitated by Clint's behavior. He thought he was being too irrational. He didn't realize though that it was _his_ cooking that got the archer like this.

Like Nat, Bucky was actively ignoring Clint, thinking how silly he was being. Beside him, Sam was nuzzled in the brunet soldier's chest, giving his Bird Bro sympathetic looks once in a while. Wanda was too engrossed in her music to notice Clint's death promising glares. Like Sam, Pietro was giving his archer saddened stares. At the same time, he would shift in his seat from the fear in his chest. He had a feeling he was the first one Clint would try to get his revenge on.

Vision was just sitting beside Thor, watching the movie that was playing, but even he had a look of fright on his face. And of course, Peggy was clueless to what was happening. She was a baby after all, so she had the excuse.

Besides the sounds of Thor and Peggy's laughter and the movie playing, it was oddly quiet in the room. It bothered everyone that occupied it. They became weary when Clint moved from his seat and went into the kitchen. A few seconds later, he came back with a soda in his hands, sipping it slowly while staring at everyone. And now that came to them, he haven't blinked in the past hour.

"So... anyone up for a little group activity?", Tony nervously asked. Bruce glanced at him, closing his book. "Tony, what do you have in mind?", he asked. The billionaire was about to answer, but Clint spoke up. "How about a game of lie detection?", he suggested harshly. "I'll ask the first question. Did anyone of you ate my pancakes?"

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

Everyone jumped when Steve suddenly stood up and grabbed Thor's hammer off the table. He threw in at Clint, who dodged it gracefully before escaping into a nearby air vent. The wall now bared a huge dent while the rug had a spill of soda on it.

Tony groaned the damage. "Well, damn."

Steve walked over to the open air vent and began to shout at it. "Clinton, get your ass back here! You little ingrate!"

"Fuck you, Steven! Fuck you and everyone else in this damn Tower!", came the angry reply. The blonde growled and began to make his way into the vent until Sam and Bucky pulled him down. Each grabbed a hold of each of his arms, forcing him away. "NO! LET ME GO! HE'S GOT TO DIE!"

"Steve, you're being just as irrational as Clint. Calm down.", Sam assured. Steve exhaled sharply in response, much like a child would. Thor had a feeling he should step in to make him see reason. He handed Bruce the little baby before heading over to the three Army Bros and pulled Steve into his arms. "Beloved, don't let this rage overcome you. Yes, it is quite ravishing on you, but this situation will become no better if you act so unruly.", he said, adding a chaste kiss to Steve's lips. At that, the soldier began to calm down, nuzzling into the other blonde's chest. "Sorry. Just got a bit annoyed, you know? I didn't mean to act that way."

"And keep in mind it was your cooking that had Clint so obsessed with the pancakes. I'm not going to lie, but those are some good ass pancakes.", Tony admitted. Steve's cheeks became red. "You're right, Tony. It is pretty much my fault this happened."

"No! No! Don't say that, Stevie! I'm just saying you're a fucking awesome cook."

"Must come with his motherly tendencies.", Bucky teased. Sam pinched him. "Ow!"

"Shut it."

"So what are we going to do about Clint?", Bruce asked, walking up and looking up at the air vent. He swore he heard a curse said in a foreign language from the archer. Pietro had took his side, also looking up at the vent. "Clint! Come on out, please!"

There was a brief silence from the vents. The group stepped closer to hear anything that may come out. Instead of a verbal answer, a suction cup arrow came and attached itself to the speedster's forehead. "I'm not going to do that, Maximoff. Until the culprit confesses, I will be staying in the vents."

It wasn't an empty claim. When Clint said he was going to do something, he _meant_ it. They knew that he would stay in the vents for a long time, sometimes without food or water. Once, he stayed in the vents for a week. Tony still believed that Clint only stayed in there for that long because he was in sort of sleep coma. That was blasphemy to the others. Complete blasphemy.

"Clint, let's be reasonable. If you really want to know who ate them, you could just ask Friday to play a clip for you.", Bruce suggested. There was a huff. "No. I want to _hear_ them say it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be cooping up here."

The air vent closed shut, making the others jump. Baby Peggy had let out a soft sniffle as if tears was just about to fall from her frosty eyes.

Bruce noticed and began to rock back gently. "It's okay, Peggy. Uncle Clint is just having a sad moment. He'll get over it soon." Peggy cooed, grabbing onto his mauve shirt. Her fingers pulled the material closer to her mouth, biting it. Steve chuckled, watching Bruce blush from the infant's actions. "She's just hungry, Bruce. I can handle that."

Steve gotten his baby girl from the doctor and walked out to head to her nursey, Thor following. It wasn't until they were out of sight did Wanda spoke up. "He made a bird joke."

* * *

For the next two hours, the group spent their time doing anything to keep their minds off of Clint. All except Pietro. He sat by the vent in the kitchen to listen out for his little bird. Once in a while, Clint would actually respond, but nothing more.

It brought some comfort to the younger Avenger that Clint hadn't decided to stop talking to people.

Other than that, everything seem to be going swell.

Bucky was coming from his room after a quick shower into the den. He was towel drying his hair when he took a seat next to his army bro, who was cuddled up against his husband. Steve had noticed that Bucky's usually dark red towel was becoming an insanely bright lime green in some areas. "Um...", he started, not sure of how to tell the slightly older about his towel.

Of course, Thor seem to have found a way. He had sniffed the air when a fruity scent had hit his nostrils hard. "Hm. What is that aroma? It smells like some sort of fruit.", the god voiced. Everyone else sniffed the air, agreeing on the scent. "Smells like green apples.", Tony admitted. Bruce nodded before his eyes trailed over to Bucky. He watched as the brunet soldier removed the towel from his hair and let out a gasp.

"Oh... my... goodness!"

Natasha held in her laugh as she spotted the problem, Wanda not resisting her laugh beside her. Vision frowned, while Sam choked on a smoothie he was drinking from while Tony had also let out a laugh. Steve paled when he saw it and Thor bellowed, "BY ODIN'S BEARD, BROTHER BUCHANAN! YOUR HAIR!"

Bucky blinked before looking down at his towel. His face turned a bright vermilion color when he saw the lime spots. "Don't... tell... me..." He rushed over to a nearby mirror and had let out a "manly" scream of terror. "MY HAIR!"

His usual dark chocolate locks were now sporting a neon lime green color. There was even some of the color dripping on his neck and t-shirt. Sam walked slowly over to his boyfriend, placing his hands on his shoulders to calm him down. "Bucky... it's okay. Maybe you grabbed the wrong shampoo? We could always dye it back." Bucky glanced down at Sam before looking back at the mirror. He really couldn't stand the sight of his hair, yet he couldn't tear his eyes away from it. The horror! His hair was an insanely _bright_ color! He would have felt slightly better if it was like a dark purple or a darker shade of green.

But by the freaking... geez!

"No. Sam, I know I grabbed the right shampoo. It was the same black Axe shampoo I use. Someone _corrupted_ my hair!"

The couple turned suddenly at the sound of laughter coming from the air vent on the ceiling. Clint was hanging from it, a bright smile on his lips and a bright blue twinkle in his eyes. "Love the hair, Buchanan."

" _YOU_ DID THIS!", the soldier accused. Clint laughed again. "Maybe."

"Clint...", Natasha warned. The archer shrugged. "Hey, when I say no one fucks with my food, I meant it."

"I DIDN'T TOUCH YOUR DAMN PANCAKES!", Bucky protested. He grabbed his hair in his hands, eyes glaring sharply at the younger man in the ceiling. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT DOING THIS TO ME! TO MY HAIR!"

"Calm down, dude. It fades out in a couple of hours... or days. Forget. Besides, you're not the only one I'm coming after so get out of your feelings.", the other hissed before going back into the vent. Sam was left with trying to prevent his boyfriend from going after him.

* * *

In the next hour, each Avenger had become an unfortunate victim of Clint's threat of eating his pancakes. Including Natasha. As a matter of fact, she was the second victim.

Like Bucky, her hair was dyed an insanely bright color. It was a bright baby blue for her. All of Thor's capes was dyed, too. And he had refused to wear any of them since they were all a cotton pink.

Tony and Bruce was interrupted from a heated make-out session from an electric shock. Somehow, in some way, Clint managed to attach a small device on each of the scientists that sent them shocking whenever they touch. You could say that their kisses were... _electrifying_. So they were now sitting on opposite sides of the room. Tony was suffering the most from it. He really wanted to touch his doctor. All of Wanda's favorite red jackets and dolls Pepper brought her were hidden somewhere in the Tower and she was literally crying over it. Every now and then, some spell happened. It was terrifying.

Sam, like his brunet super soldier boyfriend, was smelling like delicious treat. In his case, red velvet ice cream. If Bucky wasn't so pissed about his hair, he would have jumped him.

Apparently, Clint wanted Steve to suffer the most some shape or form. He not only hid his shield and uniform (which was replaced by a HYDRA version of it), but all his usual clothes was replaced by girl clothes. Steve didn't realize it until after his shower (not using his shampoo) at the last minute. He refused to wear his previous clothes and the HYDRA uniform. He ended up finding some spare clothing in his old room, which was Peggy's nursery, fortunately. Yet, they were suspiciously tight on him. Not breath squeezing tight. More like sexy tight.

So now, he was trying to pry a very hot and bothered Thor from tearing his blue pants off that hugged his ass in all the right ways. He really didn't want to suffer through another godly baby pregnancy.

Vision was gassed at some point when he went into the kitchen with some mysterious purple mist that left his usual tomato red skin a bright grape purple. He not only suffered from the color change in skin but many fruit jokes from Tony.

And then there was Pietro. That poor speedster. Clint had made in painfully clear that he wasn't going to let his younger boyfriend slide. Even if he tried sweet talking him out the vent. The archer had reversed it on the speedster and left him in a begging mess.

When Pietro was alone, Clint caught him, pushing him against the wall caressing and kissing him in the places he wanted to be touched. To even add on, he whispered many _naughty_ things in the other's ear before licking it seductively. When Pietro was just about to throw him over his shoulder and rush him into the room, Clint disappeared back into the vents. That left a highly disappointed, sexual frustrated Pietro Maximoff.

Clint may have wanted Steve to suffer the worst, but it was Pietro who took the cake in agony.

If Wanda wasn't so upset about her hidden stuff, she would have laughed at her twin's demise.

And here they were, trying to think of ways to get Clint out his funk about the pancakes.

"Why don't Steve just bake another batch?", Tony asked, fumbling with his gauntlet to take his mind off of Bruce. It really didn't help when the doctor bent over in his dark grey sweatpants to pick up a discarded paper.

Steve shook his head. "Clint already voiced that he wanted _those_ pancakes. He wouldn't want another batch." He turned to smack Thor's hand from his chest. "No. Bad hubby. Bad."

"Sorry.", the taller blonde mumbled.

At that moment, his brother, Loki had appeared in the doorway of the room. He first noticed the distraught faces and unfortunate appearance changes of each of the occupants and shook his head. "I've only been in Asgard for a few days and I come back to this. What happened now? And where's Barton?"

"He's the issue, Loki. Clint's in his feelings about some blueberry pancakes and wants to know who ate them.", Natasha answered with a grumble. Oh how she hated her bestie now. Very much.

The mischievous god raised an eyebrow, looking at the air vent to find Barton there with it opened. The marksman shrugged. "Everyone in this Tower knows that blueberry pancakes are my favorite breakfast food. So whoever ate them be prepared to beg for mercy.", he hissed before going back into the vent and closing it with a slam. Steve frowned at that. "He better not have woken my daughter.", he growled.

 **"He hasn't, Captain. Baby Peggy is still sleeping."** , Friday stated. Steve sighed in relief. "Oh thank goodness."

 **"Also, you have some visitors."**

"Who is it, Friday?", Tony asked, spying on Bruce's butt as he bent over again to pick up a pen he dropped. **"Director Fury, his niece, Agent Coulson, and Agent Hill. They approaching the room now, sir."**

On cue, the mentioned agents walked into the room. At first glance, noticing Natasha and Bucky's hair, they stopped in their tracks. "Um... why is your hair blue and yours green?", Maria asked, pointing at Nat and Bucky. Phil sniffed the air, smiling at the aroma. "Mhmm. And why does it smell like red velvet cake and green apples? Captain Rogers, did you bake again?"

"I wish that was the case, Phil.", Steve grumbled. Thor kissed his cheek while _failing_ to touch his thigh.

"Apparently, Barton is going through distress at the loss of his precious pancakes.", Loki said, sitting beside his brother and looking back at the vent. He swore he saw a gleam of an arrow pointing his way. "He wants whoever is the culprit to confess to the crime."

"Right, Loks!", Tony smirked. Bruce had finally sat beside him, looking at the papers he held in his hands. "Tony, after this Clint's pancake fiasco is solved, we should head down to the lab. I found something that we should experiment on."

"Why after?", the slightly older brunet said, inching near his boyfriend. Bruce looked at him over the rim of his glasses. He sighed and poked Tony's shoulder. The billionaire yelped and fell back from the shock. "Ow!"

"Think of it as payback."

Fury shook his head, sighing heavily at the two. "I swear... Anyways, have you had any success of getting him out the vents?"

"Nope. He's serious about this.", Bucky answered, running his metal fingers through his dyed locks. He was less angry and more saddened at the mishap of his precious chocolate locks. Sam leaned over to him and joined in the touching of the hair. "It's fading a little, Buck.", he stated, hoping it would lift the older's spirits up. It might have, but it was hard to tell when all he did was sigh and thump his head on the table.

It was silent for a moment in the room until there was an audible scratch from somewhere. Everyone turned to Vision, who was scratching his arm. He noticed the stares and if he could have, he would have blushed. "Sorry. Whatever Barton used on me itches. Is that possible for me?"

"I guess it is now.", Wanda said, getting up. She walked over to the vent and opened it. Much to the disbelief of the others, she climbed in and disappeared into it. They could hear whispers seconds later, a thud, and then a scream and another thud. Pietro had quickly dashed over to the opening, glancing into it with wide blue eyes. "Sister?! Wanda?! What happened?!"

 **"I'm afraid to inform you, sir, which Mr. Barton had sent Miss Maximoff to the Hulk containment room."**

Everyone blinked, Pietro cursing at the misfortune of his twin. "Shit. We have to go help her."

"Wow. Barton really doesn't play about his food.", Fury said. He walked over to the vent and began to shout into it. "Barton! Come out of there now, agent! You're being quite childish! That is NOT how a SHIELD agent behaves!"

"KISS MY ASS, DIRECTOR!", was the reply. The said man growled, fury (pun intended) boiling in his gut. "ALRIGHT!" He jumped right into the vent and soon after shouts of terror following, some thuds and a scream. Then silence.

Everyone exchanged glances before Leia moved from her spot and went over to the vent. "Uncle Nick? You alright in there?"

No answer.

"Uncle Niiiiiiiiiiicccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkk?"

No answer again.

Leia stepped back, crossing her arms. "Hm. Friday, status on my uncle."

 **"He's with Miss Maximoff, Agent L. Fury. He's attempting to shoot the glass, but she's preventing him from doing so."**

"Okay! Let's hustle to there before someone _really_ gets hurt.", Tony laughed nervously. He knew that the Hulk Containment Room was bulletproof. Inside and out. Chances are that if Nick managed to shoot his gun, someone's getting shot.

"Ah damn. I'm going in after that birdbrain bastard.", the female Fury hissed. Loki had dropped his Nutella and rushed to block her entrance, much to the shock of the others. "Hey! What the hell?!"

"I can't allow you to put yourself in such a predicament, Miss Fury. You might get hurt.", the ravenet admitted. From behind Leia, Thor smirked. He knew Loki had a soft spot for the younger. Ever since he saw Leia take down some security guards with a taser within four seconds in a fast food place. Reminded him of an Asgardian warrior, which Thor had to agree on.

She was quick and agile like Natasha, but much more... rough in her fighting style. Sif would be proud!

Leia raised an eyebrow at Loki's statement, frowning a little. "Uh yeah. Loki, you're cute, but I have to stop you there. Barton _knows_ not to fuck with me."

With that being said, the younger jumped over Loki with grace and into the vent. When she was out of sight, Thor got up from his seat and brushed off his pants from imaginary dirt. "Well, farewell to the mighty maiden."

"Thor Odinson!", Steve scowled, crossing his arms and glaring at his husband. Thor shrugged out of unconscious spite. "What, beloved? Just mere words."

"Ri~ght."

Phil cleared his throat. "What are we going to do about the ones trapped? Oh! And Barton?!"

"Friday, status on Leia?", Natasha asked.

" **Well, Miss Romanoff, Miss Fury has yet to reach the Containment Room. So I reckon she's still with Mr. Barton within the vents."**

Just then there was a sudden vibrating sound from the ceiling. The group looked up to see Leia and Clint fall from a ceiling tile, landing on the table which resulted into said object to collapse from the sudden weight. Steve had jumped into his husband's arms, wrapping his arms around the taller's neck in alarm at the sudden crash. Thor had prevented himself from smirking. Tony was hiding behind Bruce's back, who was standing there as if nothing had happened just as Maria and Phil were. "What the hell?! My ceiling!", the slightly older brunet cried, noting the huge hole in the said ceiling.

Leia had rolled off Clint, revealing that he was now unconscious. Pietro's blue eyes widened. "What happened to him?"

The young Fury looked down at the marksman and chuckled nervously. "Eh. I guess he broke my fall. We were fighting in the vents and I guess our weight couldn't be held much longer."

 **"And speaking of longer, Miss Maximoff can no longer hold Director Fury from shooting his weapon. If I were you, I'd head down to the room right now."**

Leia, Maria, and Phil quickly rushed out.

* * *

It was around the sun was finally leaving the sky when Clint had finally woke up from his unintended nap. He groaned as pain in his side jolted up and light hit his eyes. He blinked, letting his sight adjust and found many eyes staring directly at him.

"OH MY GOSH!"

Clint fell out the bed, landing on the floor with a harsh thud.

Pietro was at his side in seconds. "Are you alright, little bird?", he asked, helping the older back onto his bed. Clint nodded, looking back at the others, noticing smirks on some of their faces.

"Uh... what happened?"

"Oh you don't remember?", Nick asked, crossing his arms. Clint shook his head. "No. Not really."

"Let's refresh your memory, shall we?", Tony teased. He stepped aside to reveal Nat and Bucky, who still had dyed hair and Vision, who still had purple skin. Thor held up on of his capes, one of the ends being gnawed on by Baby Peggy. Steve was holding her, chuckling at her cuteness.

Clint gasped as the memories came back to him. "Oh yeah. Blueberry Pancake Fiasco."

It was mere silence after that. It made everyone fell uneasy as Clint just sat there with a deadpanned face while looking at the ground. They stepped back, fearing the worse at the returning anger he was emitting. "Thanks for reminding me.", he mumbled, standing and stretching up. "I'm sorry for all what happened. I truly am."

"Really? Because I nearly got shot.", Wanda pointed out.

"Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about that. Listen, I'll return everything I hidden from you guys and help with getting you out those... predicaments. It's just... I got to do something first."

"What's that?", Phil asked. He took another step back. He was positive that his best friend of many years was up to something. And he'd probably be right.

Clint chuckled. He bent down and reached under his pillow. It was then the group found themselves facing electric shock arrows. "I STILL NEED TO KNOW WHO IN THE HELL ATE MY PANCAKES!"

"Come on!", Tony shouted, throwing his arms up. Baby Peggy stopped chewing on Thor's cape, making everyone stare at her. They were expecting her to start balling at Clint's outburst, but unexpectedly, she had let out a chuckle, smiling brightly. Even the archer and Nick stopped to coo at her.

"How cute.", Maria giggled, leaning over to gently pinch Peggy's chubby cheek. Peggy laughed again, wiggling in Steve's arms. "Really is, but sorry, Baby Pegs. Your little adorable distraction didn't help them.", Clint chuckled before glaring back at the others. "Who did it? Who ate them?"

"Clint, listen. They're just pancakes. You've been complaining and torturing everyone over them for hours. Hours, man! Don't you think it's time to just see who ate by watching the video feed?", Sam suggested. Clint's eyes dulled from their heated angry as he lowered his arrows. He sighed, throwing his weapons on the bed. "Alright. Fine. But once I know who ate them, I'm so coming after you."

"Alright. You established that. Friday, play the clip.", Tony said.

Friday had a screen light up in the room, Peggy giggled at the bright blue color. The AI had let an image project, showing the kitchen scene earlier at the time before Clint had woken. Much to the disbelief of others, the culprit had happened to be...

"VISION?! WHAT THE HELL?!", Bucky shouted. The ex-AI stepped back as everyone stared at him. Wanda was blinking at her boyfriend with curiosity. "You ate the pancakes? I thought you don't eat?"

"That's what I was testing. I know I don't eat, but I wanted to see if I was able to _taste_ food. Apparently, I can."

"And you had to eat _my_ pancakes to test that theory?!" Vision chuckled nervously, ready to fly out the room when Clint pounced. "I greatly apologize." Greenish-blue eyes continued to stare at the ex-AI. Vision was becoming shaky under the stare. "Um..."

Clint huffed, walking out the room.

* * *

For the next few days, everyone had decided to stay clear of Clint. More so, Vision.

Even Nick took the precaution of not putting those two in the same mission.

Yet, during those days, the archer hadn't done anything to claim his revenge. He acted the way he did before like nothing had happened. He did return Wanda and Steve's possessions, while helping Tony and Bruce with their little problem.

Natasha and Bucky's hair were back to their original color while Sam eventually lost his red velvet cake scent and Thor's capes were dyed back to a much more vigorous red. Vision was back to being his tomato red. And Pietro was released from his torture. What a fun night.

In all, everything was going smoothly.

At the moment, the team was in the meeting room at the SHIELD HQ. Loki was there, also, keeping his niece occupied. Leia was reading over some files, sitting next to the mischievous god. Once in a while, she would lean over and tickle Peggy.

Tony was drinking unbelievable amounts of coffee while Bruce sipped on some tea while he looked over some notes Nick had assigned him. The others listened to the Director go over their recent mission they just got done with. "So, I need Banner and Stark to look over those notes and report back to me. Got it?"

"Roger, Mr. Grumpy!", Tony teased as him and Bruce started to take their leave. The others began to follow, showing it was the end of the meeting. When they were almost at the door, Clint stopped in front of them, holding his arms out. "Hold on for a minute. Watch." They noticed that Vision wasn't stopped by Clint or did he even notice that everyone else had stopped following him. They watched as the ex-AI continued to walk to the door, humming a song that surely Wanda got stuck in his head. Clint's lips formed into an almost sadistic smirk as the other got closer to the door. When Loki noticed it clicked. "Oh. Barton, you fiend.", he teased.

When Vision's foot touched the threshold, a variety of different colored gas sprayed him. He was soon engulfed in a cloud of rainbow gas. They heard coughed and saw arms fraying about to clear it out.

Seconds later, Vision was revealed, showing his... rainbow colored skin. Including the suit. Everyone stared at him, no words coming out their mouths from the display. Vision frowned. His eyes became a dark greenish color when he realized what everyone was staring at. He looked like a bunch of gummy bears had exploded on him!

And he hated gummy bears! Maybe... no one really knows.

"Who is responsible for this mess?!", he asked, more like growled, at everyone. His first guess was Loki by the way he was smirking, but then it looked back at where the gas exploded from and noticed small miniature arrows attached around it.

The culprit was given away with he was the first to start laughing.

Vision hissed, stomping over to Clint. "Have you lost your ill rotten mind?!"

Clint had stopped laughing like a switch and gave Vision a deadpanned look. "Maybe. I think of this as revenge for eating my pancakes."

"You're still on about that?!"

"They were mine!"

The two began to bicker back and forth. Even Peggy had stopped her baby babble to watch the scene. Loki bounced her a little before rubbing against her cheek with his own. "See how crazy your Uncle Clint is? He loves his pancakes very, very much. Only because your mommy is a good cook."

"Why do I have to be called 'mommy'?", Steve questioned. Nick was the only to answer. "You did give birth, Rogers. And you were always been of a mother hen."

Blue eyes glared over at the Director. "Excuse me?! I'm not a mother hen, mister!"

"Steve, Steve, Steve. I bet even your almost month old baby girl can agree with Nicky.", Tony argued. Steve was just about to retort until he were a small explosion behind him. The group saw Clint jump onto the table and started to shoot arrows at Vision while the said male flew at him, the Mind Gem glowing brightly on his forehead.

"Oh no.", Bruce muttered, stepping back to exit the room. Last time he got in contact with Clint's arrows... well, let's just say Tony had to pay for the reconstruction of Broadway.

"Clint! Don't you dare shoot those arrows! And Vision, you better not use that Mind Gem!", Steve scowled.

"Mother hen!", Tony teased. Clint and Vision had stopped to giggle at the soldier who glared at them. "Shut up."

"Sorry, Stevie. But you're so adorable sometimes.", Clint retorted, jumping off the table. Vision settled down on it, nodding in agreement. Steve sighed, crossing his arms. "Whatever. Are you two done with this fight now?"

"Yes. I would very much like to head home now. This substance us quite itchy.", Vision complained, holding up his cape to show the rainbow colors decorating it. He then heard a click of a camera and looked up to see Wanda holding up her phone, snapping a couple of pictures. "Hey!"

"I love you, honey, but I need this for some blackmail."

And in exchange for that blackmail, Wanda found her jackets missing again a week later. And this time, it was over some blueberry pancakes.

* * *

 **So this story is the 6th installment of the "Hammer Deems Worthy" storyline. Stories in order are:**

 **1\. The Hammer Deems You Worthy!**

 **2\. Spells Makes Avengers Do Crazy Things**

 **3\. The Things Nick Banned Us to Do (Bucky's Method to Proposing - side story)**

 **4\. Coffee and Enhanced Powered Humans DON'T Mix**

 **and then,**

 **5\. Bruce is that Somepony**

 **that place before this one.**

 **"Bucky's Method to Proposing" is a side story from "The Things Nick Banned Us to Do". It's Chapter 9 - Bucky Barnes, Rule 2#.**

 **I need to come up with a series name for this installment. Hmm... I'll think of something. For now, I'm just going to continue doing what I do best. Whatever that is!**

 **Review!**


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